sacrifice....~~

its hard..

really..

this is the one that i really want the best,

but this is the one that's really hard to get,

sometimes,it make me feels sick,

sometimes it makes me feels bad,

i dont know,

i couldn't think,

sometimes i think i'm being dumb here,

the dummy one,

dont know why i still carry this feeling that makes me feels pain,

suffer a lot,

but this is love,

love makes me become like this,

this ain't a fake love,

or something that i can throw just like that,

this is for real,

i'm being honest in this relationship,

for the sake of mine,

and for the sake of him,

i dont know if this thing can really work out,

i dont know if he really want me the way i want him

i dont know if he just playing me around,

if he does,

then......

i dont know..

i really dont know what should i do...

i dont want to hurt him,

coz i love him,

deep in my heart,

he's my only one,

there're no others,

i can't show my love to him,

coz we're far from each other,

its not fair if u said there's other person who take care of u when u're sick,

be there when u need someone,

i'll do for u...,

its a sure that i can do the same for u,

even more,

i can make u laugh,

smile for every second u breath,

dont blame me coz i'm not there,

if i could,

then i would go there,

please understand me,

please understand our situation,

we're far across the distance,

our relationship is a long distance relationship,

it needs sacrifice,

a very big sacrifice,

we need to hold our emotion and love,

we need to hold the desire to meet each other,

we need to hold the things that other partner do,

we need to be patient,

that's what it takes to be in a long distance relationship,

i've done my part,

i'm being patient here,

i'm loyal to you,

even there're many person try to steal my heart for you,

i can handle it,

coz my love for you isn't a game,

i won't easily give up on you for other person,

the others are meaningless to me,

they are nothing,

i try to make this thing worki out,

but it seems that u can't be in this type of relationship,

which is long distance relationship,

u need someone be by your side,

always be there with u,

and me....,

just someone you love but i'm far from you,

i dont blame you if you find other person,

but please make it clear and simple,

if you dont need me here,

then,just let me go,..

dont play with my heart,

coz i'm afraid it will be too cold that when the time u left me,

my heart can't even cry nor laugh,

i was holding too much pain,

too much suffer,

i just hold inside my heart what u did to me,

what u did with the third person,

what u said to her,

i just hold it inside,

coz i'm waiting for u to just said it to me,

that u want to leave me,

coz u leave her more,

if u find it hard to say it,

coz u afraid i'll be hurt,

dont worry,

i already being hurt and it taught me how to brave myself when the hurting part come to me,

i'm a tough girl,

i can endure anything,

bring it to me,

and i can handle it nicely,

there's no need to be rough,

let it be smooth and steady,

if u want it to end,

then i can deal with it,

even my heart won't say so,

even my heart actually won't let u go,

even u're my life,

even that after this i won't trust love anymore,

i just want u to know,

that i really want this thing to work out,

i really hope u can clear all the mess,

stop all the mistakes,

coz i dont know for how long can i survive in your lie,

lie...,

one thing that i really dislike,

please tell me the truth,

when i wanna leave u for your happiness,

i see,i hear your honesty,

that u dont wanna me to leave u..,

but i dont know...,

if u really mean it...,

coz i can't see your eyes,

they say: we can lies but eyes never lies,

eyes will never lies,

eyes will tell everything truthfully,

my dear...,

if u can't make the sacrifice in this long distance relationship,

then tell me the truth,

dont hurt me more...

coz the longer u lie to me,

the more deeper pain that i feel,

i sacrifice a lot for u...,

and i hope u'd done the same too...